I sometimes feel like the slogan of mothers should be "Mom - n. a female human being who feels the incessant need to do everything themselves and get it done." And sometimes I feel that isn't too far of a stretch from the truth. Especially for me.
I have lofty dreams for myself, it seems. Lofty dreams and ambitions. I want to be the "perfect" mom to my kids and I want to be a successful fine art photographer. And there is a lot that goes into being both of those. It goes without saying that being a good mom requires a majority, if not all of your time. It also goes without saying that being a successful artist also requires a majority, if not all of your time. Children need constant companionship, care, attention, feeding, changing, love. Art needs constant thought, practice, execution, refining, motivation, endurance, marketing, footwork, love.
At what point do you realize you are trying to do too much?
Is it when the thought of sitting down with your kids to play brings you to tears, and not in a good way? Is it when you go to work on editing a photograph and you just loathe every second your tweaking and refining? Is it when you are planning out and writing four blog posts in order to stay ahead while keeping your infant from crawling all over the printer?
Look over the things that are important to you. What are your priorities? What takes precedence over the other? What is most important now, and what can wait until tomorrow, next week, next month, next year?
Perhaps the most important thing to look at is: are you still you? Do you still feel like yourself? Can you still recognize yourself in all of the madness and chaos of responsibility and dreams? Are you happy?
My dear friends I have been asking myself these same questions. Many of the answers aren't good. And so I'm currently rethinking the direction I am headed; what needs to change and how I can accomplish it, what I need to do to be happy again.