I wish I had the personality where it was easy to make friends, where it took no effort at all. Where I could just move in to a place, smile and I would instantly have friends. I hate having to work for it. And so often it leaves me without "bosom companionship," as Anne would say, for years. And I know that it is all me to blame. I wish there were a way that I could turn that part of me off or flip the switch from "you're terrible at making friends" to "making friends is a breeze."
But there is no switch. There is no easy fix. You are who you are and who you are sometimes is what you have to work through. It will probably take me years before I become less guarded, more trusting, and overall less overwhelmingly socially awkward.
Awaken | (c) M.M.Hewitt 2014 Downloading this image for any use without written permission is strictly prohibited.
There comes a point where we all become aware of ourselves. We awaken to who we are and what that means for our place in the world. And very few of us are completely comfortable and confident in who we are. But in that moment of awakening we can decide where we go from there. We can decide to learn to be okay with ourselves, we can decide to change ourselves, we can decide to fall into self-pity and self-degredation. It's not a very long moment, once the mist has moved on so must you. What have you decided?